REAL STORIES

Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Boise ID

I was your average "good" kid growing up, I graduated high school, went to college, got married. Pretty typical, never been in any real trouble in my life. I got divorced at age 25, and went to "find myself". I started partying a lot, spending a lot of time in the bar scene. I was offered a job at a local bar to make some extra cash. I took it. I was working a full time job in the medical field and had a two day a week job at a tanning salon in addition to working Fri. and Sat. nights at the bar. I had a car, a home, and tons of friends and a close nit family. I started using meth at age 26 to help "get me through" working the nights at the bar. It was given to me for free and as much as I wanted. I only used on the weekends, just to help me get through my shift at the bar. I eventually went to using during the week, then everyday so I could function at my day job. It took over my life. I lost my day jobs due to constantly being late. I lost close friends and distanced myself from my family. It tore me and my life apart. At age 29 I was arrested, I was driving on a bad license. They found meth in my car and I went to jail. Fortunately, I was offered Drug Court. It saved my life. I now have a car, my own home, a secure job and my true friends and family back. I have been clean for over 2 1/2 years. There is hope. You can get your life back. I didn't think I could, but I am living proof that the life you get while on meth isn't the life you have to live. Meth use isn't just something that happens to teens or "thugs" it happened to me...your average all American girl... it can happen to anyone. It doesn't discriminate against age, social class or race. For the first time in my life I felt like I fit what society expects of women these days. I was super thin. Never in my life had I been below average weight, not too over weight mind you, but for the first time I could walk into any store and the latest trends fit me perfectly. I know that is a very superficial thing to be happy about. But in our day and age where you are measured by your looks vs. the person you are inside, this made me feel great about myself. I had dropped 30 lbs in a matter of a few short months. I didnšt eat, I just did meth. If I had to eat for social reasons, I would make sure to go on a binge and not eat for a few days just to be in my size 2 jeans by the weekend. The bad part is I lost a lot more than my weight. My job, my home, my family and good friends didn't matter. I only cared about my drugs and keeping my figure. I have been clean for a couple of years now and in that time I have gained 70 lbs back. I was told by doctors that my body was in starvation mode for the 3 years I did meth, so now my body stores all it can in case it has to starve again. I am currently the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I have had to come to terms mentally that I never was a size 2 except while on meth. I am ok with that. I am not going to lie and say I don't struggle with it every day. I look at photos of me thin and long to be there again, but the price I would have to pay to get there is far too great for me. I would rather be heavy and happy and successful than anorexic sheik thin and have nothing, not even true happiness. I know that many women struggle with weight and meth is a quick fix. But I am telling you, nothing in this world is worth what meth will do to you and your life. I am trying to get myself back to a healthy weight, by eating right and exercise. I encourage any female out there that struggles with the weight they have put on since getting clean to never forget the pay off you'd get by using again, just to be thin.

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